Warning: Christmas Joy and melancholy to follow...read at your own risk...
I'm personally struggling with my regular traditions of the Christmas Season. For the past couple of years I've been looking to put the joy and spirituality back into my Christmas. I realize that for years I ate / drank my way through the holidays. Not only that, I stretched my spirit and my pocketbook to extremes. I did not feel joy or hope or love...I felt pressure to achieve, entertain, be entertained, decorate. I think being retired has helped me to jump off the self destructive roadway. Ya know, I had established a "tradition" 40 years ago after my mother died. I come from a close knit family of 7 children. After Mom passed, I was the only one with my own house. It became extremely important to me, to host my family for the holidays, just as Mom had done for us, all those years growing up. I inherited my high school age brothers after Mom passed. It seems to me now, once I created a plan, I've just been doing the same thing year after year. I was 24 years old, I had a husband, a baby, brothers and the responsibility of the world on my shoulders. So I thought.
Today, I'm 66 years old and still have the same wonderful husband. Last year I gave up "hosting" the family for Christmas. BTW, I was so heavy I could barely walk to the end of the driveway. This year, I am so grateful for my recovering health. I still have a ways to go.
I have switched things up some. I have done several inspirational things with my church family. I find myself grateful for all the folks who decorate their homes to celebrate the occasion of Jesus' birth. Sometimes it is simply a tree in a window, other times the house screams, "Look at me, CELEBRATE!"
We don't do the gift thing anymore, just give cash to all the children we know. I light the Advent candles with every meal. I did the tree and wreaths and a simple crèche from my Mother's decorations, Mary, Joseph and Baby Jesus. My husband bought me a Christmas CD
In writing this, I realize I miss the "eating my way through" the Holidays. And I also see that I still miss my Mother.
I sure hope this journaling helps me get back to my clean eating.
Sarah
